Being in love in an exclusive long-term relationship is difficult, but it is made considerably more difficult when you are in love with someone from a different cultural background, such as someone from a different country.
Whether you are just beginning out in dating or your relationship is already serious, several factors can come in the way, the most important of which is communication. If you are in a relationship with someone from another culture who speaks a different language, communication is the first barrier.
Don’t get me wrong; you and your partner may speak the same language yet still have difficulty communicating.
How is this so? Because communication is more than just the language you speak! Nonverbal communication comprises 70% of our communication information and is heavily influenced by culture. If that wasn’t enough, culture also defines what is appropriate and inappropriate to say in a certain setting, so you may get into a battle simply for asking the right question in the wrong way. I remember a mixed couple—he was Japanese and she was American—getting into a fight when he questioned her, “What’s wrong with you?” while she was sick.
If you are from a Western background, or simply not Japanese, you may believe that the intention behind this question was to complain, almost as if he wanted to downplay her illness; however, if you are Japanese, you will understand that you were simply trying to understand what happened to her and why she was in pain. As you can see from this basic example, cultural differences can be a significant hurdle in a relationship between two people from different cultural backgrounds.
Having said that, here are some ways to improve your relationship, whether you are just starting or anticipating a future together:
Long-Distance Love: 10 ways to build a strong relationship with a foreign partner
1. Don’t give anything for granted
As in the preceding example, when in a relationship with someone from another culture, you should always give them the benefit of the doubt if you are offended by their words or actions. This should be a norm in any relationship, but it becomes especially important when you’re in a mixed partnership.
First, ask your partner to justify his or her behavior or comments, and then you can still be furious with them! Talk, talk, talk! Say even the obvious! The goal is to understand your partner’s point of view. Then, you can still get upset, but at least it would be for the right reason!
2. Learn your partner’s language
If you truly want to understand your partner and improve your relationship, my recommendation is to learn their language. A basic comprehension is sufficient. Knowing even a small portion of his/her native/family tongue will allow you to put yourself in his/her shoes. Any language carries with it cultural baggage and a manner of thinking. Learning that way of thinking can help you better understand your partner and have fewer disagreements over foolish misunderstandings.
3. Learn about your partner’s culture.
Learning about your partner’s culture entails discovering his or her way of life as taught by their family. Our cultural heritage has a strong influence on us since it determines our values, life objectives, and manner of life; it shapes who we are. When partners originate from diverse backgrounds, even if they have the same beliefs in theory, their goals may differ or they may have different approaches to achieving them. It is critical to understand where our partner came from to establish a common ground for future planning.
As a result, my advice is to be open and curious about your partner’s culture and to study as much as possible from a variety of venues. This involves broadening your studies beyond your relationship with your spouse and learning about his culture from his/her family and friends, as well as books, YouTubers, and other people from his/her same background who are not necessarily close to your partner.
Knowing your partner’s culture is critical for making future plans that are mutually beneficial, especially if your partner becomes “the one” with whom you will spend your entire life.
Sharing similarities while still being conscious of distinctions is essential for developing a strong, lifelong partnership.
4. Look for solutions and parallels!
It is quite easy to identify what distinguishes you, but it is far more useful to look for similarities, especially when you disagree on anything. Again, my advice is to focus on what brings you together so that you can overcome disagreements.
It is usual for mixed couples to be divided by their differences since the people around them erroneously focus on the disparities, which the lovers believe are hard to overcome. The truth is that such distinctions exist in every partnership, regardless of whether they come from the same cultural background or not; nonetheless, the idea that coming from the same background brings people together distorts reality.
Mixed couples should avoid being duped by such illusions and question themselves, “How can we make this work?”
5. Search online for advice from other mixed couples.
Nowadays, many interracial/mixed couples share their experiences and ideas about how they made it work online, particularly on YouTube. My recommendation is to hunt for couples like yours online and learn as much as you can from both their failures and their successful techniques.
Be straightforward about your ideals, desires, and life goals. Again, this is a suggestion I would give to any couple, but I believe it has become an even more important tactic when it comes to mixed couples: be straightforward! When it comes to love, individuals have this magical belief that their spouse should be able to read their minds and feel what they feel, but no matter how much your lover wishes they could, they are not yet that magical! Put yourself in their place; could you miraculously discern their thoughts or feelings? No, correct?! So, be open and honest with your spouse about what you want, how you feel, and what you desire, and let them respond! Allow the true magic of love to happen!
7. Be ready to be discriminated
I know it shouldn’t have happened, but it did! Discrimination and racism against mixed couples are real, and as painful as it is to admit, you must be prepared to face them as a partnership. Not just individually, but also as a couple. As your relationship progresses, you must determine as a couple what to do and how to respond to any acts of discrimination/racism directed at you as a pair or one of you.
Discrimination and racism can originate from a couple’s family of origin or society; nevertheless, you must be prepared to deal with it. Decide and organize your reactions and solutions collaboratively.
In my professional experience, when a mixed relationship is unprepared to face this scenario, they not only endure the consequences of the incident but also suffer mental scars from not being able to protect/help their partner.
The pain caused by such an occurrence may lead to the couple’s breakup since one of the partners does not believe they can protect their spouse, so it is critical to be prepared and avoid this scenario.
8. Build a supporting social network as a couple.
As a pair, you will require the support of others, including your friends, colleagues, and relatives. It is critical to be around individuals who will accept you as a mixed couple and help you navigate your daily life without the drama of discrimination. Choose those who can provide you with greater advice on how to deal with issues.
9. Decide on where you want to create your life together.
When your relationship becomes serious, you must select where you want to reside. This is the circumstance where you met your partner while studying abroad; therefore, you only spend a limited amount of time in the same nation. Where you will live together is a crucial decision, and you should be aware of the repercussions. Both couples may require assistance in adjusting if one of them remains in the foreign nation. You don’t want your partner to feel lonely and isolated from family and friends as a result of being gone.
10. If you’re a gay couple: Help your partner come out with his or her family.
A unique suggestion for homosexual couples is to be very aware of how homosexuality is seen in your partner’s home country. Sometimes homosexual couples quarrel because one of them refuses to come out to their families. Of course, this is a very sensitive topic, but your partner’s refusal to come out with his or her family may not be due to a lack of love for you; rather, it may be due to a desire to protect you. Many nations still consider homosexuality to be a crime and not accepted by society, so your partner may be hesitant to declare his sexual orientation because both of your lives could be jeopardized, even by his or her own family.
Such horrible anxiety may be enough to prevent your partner from ever coming out with his or her family; thus, you must discuss it and make a decision together.
How to make a foreigner fall in love with you
Making a foreigner fall in love with you can be difficult, but it is certainly not impossible! If you stick to these basic do’s and don’ts, you’ll be on your way to happily ever after in no time.
Who knows, maybe your new love will even teach you a few things about their culture in the process!
● Be confident.
Nothing is more appealing than confidence. No matter where you are or who you’re speaking with, remember to keep your head up and be confident in all you do. Your new foreign love will take note!
● Don’t Be Too Clingy.
When you first meet someone, it’s normal to want to spend every waking moment with them.
However, especially when dating someone from a foreign culture, it is crucial to give them some space and allow them to miss you on occasion.
After all, “absence makes the heart grow fonder!”
● Learn about their culture.
The best approach to showing someone you care about them is to be interested in what they care about.
When trying to win over a foreigner, first learn about their culture and what they value. When they see how much work you’re putting in, they’ll be completely smitten! Don’t compare everything to your culture.
Remember that not everyone is like you and has the same background as you. Something normal in one culture may not be normal in another. Maintain an open mind and respect for the practices and beliefs of other cultures to avoid potentially damaged feelings.
● Be yourself.
This sounds like a no-brainer, but it’s still worth addressing. At the end of the day, the best approach to making someone fall in love with you is to just be yourself. Relax, be yourself, and let love flow spontaneously!
To make a foreigner fall in love with you, follow these simple do’s and don’ts. Simply remember to be confident, give them some space, learn about their culture, and, most importantly, be yourself! You will soon be on your way to your fairytale ending.
Conclusion
Distance presents a challenge, but it is not insurmountable. With the right tools, mindset, and intentional effort, your long-distance relationship can become a powerful demonstration of your love’s strength. Our experts’ advice emphasizes the importance of consistent communication, cultivating intimacy, and making deliberate decisions to stay connected.
Remember that small, intentional actions are what keep your relationship thriving. Whether it’s a shared ritual, a heartfelt message, or organizing your next reunion. Long-distance relationships require creativity and commitment, but the benefits of a deeply bonded partnership are worth every mile.
Falling in love with a foreigner is an exciting experience and as such, it has many untapped benefits.
